Today, many young brothers and young sisters who have, mashaAllah, started practicing Islam face a dilemma with their parents who are not accustomed with an Islamic way of life and who view this change of their kids with cautious eyes and with a bit of anxiety, as well.
However dear kids, this is natural. They have not experienced what you have gone through. So there is no need to get worried. Rather show them how Islam demands from you to treat your parents. And do you know the rights bestowed upon them, as your parents?
First of all, you should never cause them any pain (that includes showing anger), even if they are wrong, and what is the benefit of this?
The benefit is that they will be impressed by your behavior and will understand that Islam taught you these noble and high values.
Secondly, respect and honor them in your speech and dealings with them, for this will create great harmony and love between you and them.
Thirdly, obey them in permissible acts. However when they tell you to do something which Islam doesn’t allow, how should your reactions be? Should you be angry and resentful towards them? NO! Rather, you must politely excuse them and tell them the reasons why Islam prohibits these certain acts and being parents who took care of you, when you were little, they will understand. And if they still don’t understand you have no right to show contempt, rather you have to respect them and be gentle with them. Remember (when facing any problems) in Islam, even a smile is like giving charity!
Indeed, the truthful Prophet sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam, has emphasized very much to treat parents nicely. For example he sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam said: “Whoso gets up at dawn being obedient to Allah regarding his parents, two doors in Paradise are opened up for him in the morning?”
Furthermore, he sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam also said, “The Almighty Allah may pardon all sins He pleases except disobedience to parents; and He hastens (punishment) in this life before death for one who commits it.”
Also, the Prophet sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam said: “The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the father, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the father.” And as for mothers, the Prophet sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam said: “Paradise is at her feet.”
Therefore dear brothers and sisters never show anger or use rude language with them. But, Allah forbid, if it happens than what?
Hmm! Aren’t we in hot water? Fortunately, Allah has made parents very forgiving and tender hearted towards their children. So remember, whenever any mishap happens at once remember what the Prophet sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam said and immediately apologize to your parents. And as for the way of apologizing, I will tell you a secret, which guarantees success, InshaAllah.
When I was in Canada, I had once asked an Islamic scholar that how should we apologize to our mothers? He replied: “When I was young, I had an argument with my mother. So after I realized my mistake, I went and brought her a flower and told her I’m sorry and she forgave me!” So, this is one way with apologizing to mothers, give her a small present as a token of apology.
As for fathers, the way to apologize is to say sorry immediately and promise to him that you will never do this act which hurt him again, and will always try to overcome which displeases him and in this way, InshaAllah, he will also be happy.
Therefore, remember, that your parents are your paradise. To please them, is to follow Islam and one who follows Islam gets prosperity in this world and hereafter!
